Honeymoon's Over

Everything had been a little too easy in the first few weeks of working with the therapist, but now interesting stuff is coming up as I continue to work with her. Mostly annoyance and anger, which was something I hadn't really expected. Basically, I find myself getting really annoyed every time I have to make a choice about something I want because I know that having it all will make me too full or when I know that one of something is all I need to be satisfied but I really want two. The other day, after going out of my way to buy ingredients to make french toast, I got so annoyed at the idea that I would probably be satisfied by one slice, that I got in a snit when I burnt the first peace and tossed the lot rather than have to have just one piece. Weird.....

Also discovered last night just how soothing food actually can be. Didn't fully buy into that concept before (or rather, wasn't fully convinced I that I was soothing with food), but have been dealing with some stuff and really wanted some junk food yesterday. After brooding on it all day, then getting angry (can't believe I have to deal with this crap and I can't even have a *#$@^%! cheeseburger!), I finally said screw it and went out and got a value meal and a frosty at Wendy's. On the plus side, I did at least wait until I was actually hungry, and I actually didn't eat to the point of discomfort. That's progress of a sort. But the interesting part was actually feeling the difference in my mood when I was done eating. I guess after spending several weeks not soothing with food, I really noticed the effect when I finally gave in and did it! Well, awareness is progress, so I'll take this as a good thing.