Time To Get Busy, Folks

So, as I mentioned recently, I feel like I've settled into a nice balance. I'm not habitually overeating anymore, and I've been managing stress much better. My weight has been stable for a couple of months now and I feel like I'm eating normally, though not necessarily intuitively. But I'm calm and I feel pretty happy and that's awesome.

But, here's the thing. I don't want to be *too* happy. Well, that's not exactly correct. I want to be super happy, but I don't want to be so happy that I get complacent and stop doing the work I need to do. I still have a ways to go to be a true intutive eater and while I think I'd probably be just fine to hang out here for a while and catch my breath, so to speak, I don't want it to become a situation where five years from now, I've gotten so comfortable that I'm in the exact same place and have made no progress. Because at the end of the day, my goal is not just to normalize my eating, but it is still to lose weight. So, while I'm perfectly fine with a slow process, even one that moves at a snail's pace, staying the same indefinitely is not acceptable to me.

I don't think I'm doing as much emotional eating as I was, but I know that my portions are often still too big and that I don't always wait until I'm truly hungry to eat (particularly when I'm working and more more likely to eat when "it's time" as opposed to when my body needs food). And I still need to get better about being active. I've scaled back on my training sessions and I'm definitely not interested in engaging in activities that I dread and that leave me exhausted (which training does, but I see the benefits, so I do want to do it once a week). But I want to find that "joyful" activity that I keep hearing about. I have to say that I'm skeptical that it exists for me. In my 44 years on this planet, there has *never* been an athletic activity that I truly looked forward to doing. I just think I'm not that person. But there are things I don't hate or dread, and so I'm looking for those activities and trying to find some time to fit it into my jam packed schedule so that it doesn't feel like another obligation at the end of an already exhausting day.

So these are the challenges and I feel like I need to gear up and get busy and start working on them (at a pace that doesn't overwhelm me) and not allow myself to get too lazy. I've started working with a nutritionist who partners with my therapist; my first session with her was yesterday. I think the work with my therapist has been great for getting my head into the right place, but I'm hoping that the nutritionist is going to help me hone in on the actual work of the eating and the activity and get those to where I need them to be. And I further hope that by working with them both, together, it will be the right combination to keep it from being another diet that leads me back to where I started.

So, there you go. Time to suit up and go. I'm ready.