At What Point Is the Stress Too Much?

A highly stressful job plays a huge role in many of the challenges I face, including eating and weight. There are many many things about my job that leave me completely depleted in more ways than one at the end of a crazy week. A highly demanding and perfectionist boss, inflexible deadlines that must be met no matter what, insane workloads, long hours, and frequent travel, are just a few. At the end of many days, even though I know it would make me feel better, the idea of exercising and cooking a healthy meal is the absolute last thing I care about. Collapsing in a coma on the sofa with whatever is easy and just tuning out the world is all I can manage. Unfortunately, that's not so good for either my health or my lacking social life.

But, there are also a lot of positives about my job. As a management group, we are very supportive of each other. We laugh all the time, though it's often in a if you don't laugh you'll cry sort of way. But still, there's a real camaraderie between us that helps you get out of bed each day. I'm well paid for what I do and I have excellent benefits, much better than I've seen at many other companies. And in very uncertain economic times, though there's no such thing as a sure thing, I've got about as close to job security as a person can have. Having grown up in a household where financial security was non-existent, this is probably one of the key drivers for me. I don't need to be wealthy. I don't need to show off with fancy clothes or cars or big houses, but I need to know where my next paycheck is coming from. I need to have enough money in the bank so that if my car breaks down, I don't have to worry about how it's going to get fixed. I need to have enough for the occasional splurge, like a massage or a pedicure. I need to not be afraid to answer the phone or open the mail because it might be another bill collector. I need that more than I need just about anything else because there's no safety net. No spouse that can take care of things for a while, no parents or grandparents that can help out if I get in a bind. No one can look out for me, but me. So I can't let my guard down for a second. This job affords me that financial security that is SO important to me and for that I am very grateful.

But, I do find myself asking more and more in recent years at what point I should say enough is enough. When is the stress of this lifestyle no longer worth the price? That I don't know. Because true, money's not everything, but good health insurance and not having to angst over every nickel and dime is pretty close to everything for me. Because I've been there and I'm not going back. If I could figure out a way to have the security this job brings without the stress, I'd be there in a heart beat. I just can't figure that out right now. And, there are changes coming about in my company over the next year that may well result in tremendous changes for me. Too early to know whether those changes will be for the better or for the worse, but I'm hanging in there to see what happens.

What I really need to do in the meantime is just figure out how to manage stress that's not going to go away anytime soon. Sure, there are things like yoga, and meditation, and eating better and taking good care of myself, blah blah blah. But seriously, there just aren't enough hours in the day. I don't know how to fit it all in. The pace also makes it really hard to be mindful when I eat, and that has been a struggle, too. Because sometimes I do actually think about it and I'm too exhausted to care. Other times, I realize days have gone by and I haven't given the slightest thought to what or how I've eaten. I've just been on autopilot.

In the grand scheme of things, these are not bad problems to have. I'm not losing my house to foreclosure, I haven't lost my job, I don't have to wonder where my next meal is coming from, I'm not trapped beneath the rubble of a devastating earthquake, I'm not dodging bullets or car bombs. There are so many things in the world that are worse than having a well-paying but stressful job. I really have no right to complain. Still, I need to learn how to manage things. Because there's no point in having so many blessings if you can't even enjoy them.