Hara Hachi Bu

If you do any reading about healthy diets and lifestyles, you're bound to come across something hailing the people of Okinawa, Japan. They live long and amazingly healthy lives. Living to be 100 and still being healthy and active is fairly routine. Also, as an interesting aside, breast cancer is so rare that women do not have routine mammograms. They don't need them!

Many factors play into these statistics. Genes, I'm sure, are part. But the lifestyle is also a major contributor. Healthy diet, lots of veggies, active lifestyle, and strong, supportive communities are important elements that all of us can emulate. One principle the Okinawans follow, however, that has recently been driven home to me is Hara Hachi Bu, or "eat until you are eight parts full." Or, in other words, stop stuffing yourself.

Of course, we all know that we shouldn't be stuffing ourselves, but it does raise the question, what *is* full? It's something that I have struggled with in my time practicing IE and that I have worked on with my therapist. I have made progress in this area and thought I had finally hit on what full means. Then I started the spend less, eat more project and a funny thing happened. As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, I began to realize that I needed far less to be satisfied than I thought.

How did this come about? Well, I was eating smaller portions, not because it was a diet or because I was *supposed* to for IE, but because when spending less money, I had to make the meals last the week and that meant eating smaller servings so I could have leftovers for a subsequent meal. At first, when finishing meals, I'd often feel a bit panicky. Like I was still a bit hungry and hadn't had enough to eat and I was certain I would soon be starving. But for some reason, although it was a little worrisome, it was less emotionally charged for me than it might have been if I was doing it in connection with a diet or even IE. This was my own project after all, and I could stop it whenever I wanted. Then, I started to realize that after 30 minutes or so, I felt fine and I usually continued to feel fine for several hours until my next planned meal. Turned out, that what I thought couldn't possibly be enough, was in fact, just right. Unconsciously, I was practicing Hara Hachi Bu!

But this isn't news, right? I mean, we all know that portions are too big and we should be eating less. Every diet on the planet tells you that! But, it turns out that even what I thought was a small portion was often more than I needed. And the difference this time is that because I stumbled onto it in my own way, by experimenting without pressuring or judging myself and listening to what my body was telling me, and not because I was too fat and was adhering to some restrictive plan, it felt natural. That has never happened before. In the past, sure, I could have gone to McDonald's and ordered a cheeseburger instead of a quarter pounder with cheese, but it felt like a punishment. I *really* wanted that quarter pounder with cheese, but I didn't deserve to have what I wanted. That was the penance for being fat. But through my IE work and my spend less, eat better project, I'm naturally coming to a place where I'm realizing that I don't have to punish myself. I *can* have the quarter pounder with cheese if I want it, but you know what? I don't want it so often anymore. It doesn't make me feel good. I'm just fine with a small cheeseburger. How weird is that??

Was this just a fluke? I don't think so. This week, while traveling for business and facing restaurant meals for the first time in a while, I had a meal that, in the past, would not have seemed that big to me. But at the end, not only was I uncomfortably full, I ended up with a stomach ache! Wow! Seems like my body is adjusting and I'm starting to really get tuned in to this IE stuff. Mind blowing.

Hara Hachi Bu. Those Okinawans are on to something!

Do Something Good For Your Soul Today

The spend less, eat better project is on hold this week since I'll be going out of town tomorrow on business, but cooking is still on my mind. Took another cooking class today. This one on quick weeknight dinners to make from your pantry. I made a pasta dish with brussels sprouts and shallots. Truth be told, I'm not really a brussels sprouts fan, but I like to challenge myself during these classes to make and try dishes that I'd never do on my own. Can't say that I loved the dish (I think that brussels sprouts will never be a favorite), but it wasn't awful. And there were plenty of other great dishes there that I know I'll be cooking soon.

I'm not sure what to make of the fact that I enjoy cooking so much. Can't decide whether it's odd or just too cliche for someone who has had a tortured relationship with food and their body almost all their life. But I'm going to take it as a good thing. Cooking makes me happy. I do believe it's good for my soul and I need to make time to do it more often. And, really, I think that getting more in touch with this passion will be great for me, overall. Not only from the standpoint of doing stuff I enjoy, but also from the standpoint of eating better, higher quality foods that I make myself. That's intuitive living and I'll take that.

The Spend Less, Eat Better Project

The challenge? The name says it all, really. But how much less, is less? Well, a quick perusal of my bank statements tells me that I spend, on average, about $100 per week on groceries. Add another $60, give or take, when you consider my daily bagel and coffee every morning and workday lunch at any of a dozen places near my office. That’s a lot of money. And really, I don’t eat that well, at least not most of the time. Not recently, anyway. But I know that I can with a bit of effort. And now I’m feeling like making that effort. So, the new goal is to spend half of what I normally do on groceries, while still maintaining my values of purchasing organic and/or locally made products whenever possible. Dining out will be reduced to the bare minimum, meaning special occasions, when traveling for work, or when it’s really just not convenient to haul my lunch around, such as on a day when I’m working mostly with clients out of the office.

Can it be done? Well, I’ve actually been doing it for four weeks now and the answer is yes, but it does take planning and work. No more blindly tossing stuff into carts without paying attention to the price. No more convenience foods. No more frozen dinners. This requires getting back to basics. Actual cooking. It requires getting up a bit earlier so I can eat at home instead of stopping for a bagel and coffee on the way to work. It requires brown bagging it instead of checking out the daily special in the cafeteria. It hasn’t exactly been easy, but there have been rewards.

Reward number one: extra money in the bank. Every week I stick to plan, I will put the difference between what I’ve spent and what I would have normally spent into the bank. For the first four weeks, that added up to $500! (which is a little misleading because I relied quite a bit on a pantry that I hadn’t realized was as well stocked as it was, so I was actually spending less than $30 each week instead of the planned $50.). At whatever point I decide to end this little project – and I have no idea when that will be – I should have a nice little nest egg in the bank to treat myself to something special.

But here’s the interesting reward number two. Doing this for the last four weeks has had an interesting impact on my IE practice; it has fine-tuned my appetite. I’m realizing that I need far less to be satisfied than I realized. That’s something I hadn’t expected at all. It was just an interesting side effect that I noted about three weeks into this. I had been struggling so much with this and I feel like my brain came up with this interesting challenge as a way to help me get IE concepts without it being so emotionally charged. And that’s fricken’ awesome! Now, I still struggle with leaving food on my plate and I think that still might take a while to get, but I feel like this is a big step for me, all while enjoying the challenge of eating better and cooking. It’s a win-win and it’s fun! How could I ask for more?

Spend Less, Eat Better?

I’ve decided to challenge myself to see how little I can spend on food each week and still eat well. The inspiration for this decision had absolutely nothing to do with IE, but it has had some interesting side effects on my IE practice. But more on that later and first to what I’m sure is the primary question, which is why?

As I’ve stated before, I consider myself something of a foodie. I know it’s not for everyone (nor do I think everyone should follow my philosophy), but personally, I think it’s better for my health, my body, and the planet to eat organic and local, whenever possible. Michael Pollan is my hero. Although I stray as much as the next person, I believe it’s better to eat whole grains and plenty of produce. I think that, as good as it sometimes tastes, American fast food culture is a contributor to many of the health issues we face in this nation. I think high fructose corn syrup is poison. I really do. And those beliefs don’t have anything to do with wanting to be thinner.

But an odd thing happened when I started IE. I stopped wanting to eat healthfully and started wanting to eat whatever junk I could shove into my mouth. Well, that’s not exactly true. My logical brain wanted to eat healthfully, but my lizard brain would have none of it. If it was junk, I wanted it. Cooking? God forbid. Couldn’t bear the thought of it. I think that because those foods were always so forbidden on my diets, they were all I could think of. Combine that with a case of severe overwork, leaving me far too exhausted to cook, and fast food, prepared food, snack foods – whatever was quick, easy, and tasty – were my best friends for six months. But finally getting some R&R in December got me back to the place where I was ready to start doing some cooking again. And the desire for junk also started to wane. And then a couple of things inspired me to commence this challenge.

First, some time ago, I came across a blog called the 1940’s Experiment. Written by an English woman who was also a 1940’s buff, it was her attempt to lose 100 pounds by sticking to a diet of what she would have gotten as rations during World War II. I was intrigued by the blog, not as a method of dieting, of course, because I was already over diets by the time I found it, but because one of the cornerstones of her philosophy, as I understood it, was that people ate more healthfully back then because they were forced to eat less processed foods. That, I agree with.

More recently, I came across a blog called Not Eating Out in New York, which is in no way a diet blog, but rather, which chronicle’s one New Yorker’s attempt to stop eating out completely, and cook at home. I didn’t want to stop eating out completely, but I did want to cook more and eat out far less than I do.

But the straw that tipped the scales was two articles I read on the website Salon.com. One was about how Bill Clinton had gone vegan and was now the best advertisement for the diet there could be, since he had been so well known for his bad diet before. The basic theme was that if the guy who was famous for chowing down on McDonald’s while he was in the White House could go vegan, anyone could do it. The other article was by one of the website’s regular columnists about how she had drastically changed her diet by following the advice of famous food columnist and cookbook author, Mark Bittman, and essentially going vegan most of the day, except for at dinner. The basic theme was that if she could do it in her rough and tumble New York neighborhood, that it was a sign to her that healthy eating and ingredients that previously had only been available at health food or gourmet stores were becoming more commonplace and more widely available.

Now, I have respect for the vegan lifestyle, but it’s not for me. So I’m not trying to be vegan, or even vegetarian; I’m just trying to eat better. And I believe that I can with a modicum of effort. So, it wasn’t as if these articles were some sort of revelation to me. Rather, it was the reader comments that spurred me to action. Basically, they were of the sort that I have seen repeatedly in many other forums when similar topics arose, namely, that it was impossible to eat healthfully if you didn’t have a fortune to spend at Whole Foods and either a personal chef to cook for you, or a spouse that earns enough to allow you to stay home so you can spend all day in the kitchen. This theory, I soundly reject. I think it takes planning, and something that the vast majority of people seem to be unwilling to do these days, which is cooking, and it does take some time, yes, but not as much as people think, I believe. But the question was whether I was willing to put my money where my mouth was (literally). So, I figured I needed to put up or shut up, and therein my challenge was born. I would challenge myself to see how well I could eat on an extremely modest budget each week.

How’s it been going? It’s definitely challenging, but not really too bad, actually. At least not so far. And I’ll tell you more about that in days to come, including about the interesting impact on my IE practice.

Just Wondering...

When I was a child, I wished I was a teenager. When I was in grade school, I wished I was in high school. When I was a teenager, I wished I was in my 20s. When I was in high school, I wished I was in college. When I was 21, I wished I was 25. When I was in college, I wished I could graduate and get a "real job." When I got my first job, I wished I had a "more important" position with better pay. When I had a "more important" position with better pay, I wished I had a position with less responsibilities and stress (but the same pay! LOL). When I lived in the MidWest, I wished I could be on the West Coast. When I lived in an apartment, I wished I owned a house. When I bought a house, I wished I wasn't so tied down. When I hit my 40s, I wished I could have the carefree days of my youth back. When I was a size 12, I thought I was fat and wished with all my heart that I could be a size 8. Now that I'm a size 20, I'd give anything to be a size 12 again.

Dreams are good. Desires are good. They help you accomplish things. I wouldn't now live in a city I love if I hadn't had the dream of living in California. I wouldn't have a good paying job if I hadn't always pushed myself to get to that next level. But I have lived all my life wishing that I was something other than what I was at any given moment. I have always known that if only [insert current dream of choice here] could happen, *then* I could finally be happy. But then there's always something else. Always something else that I need to do or be or accomplish, before that happiness can finally arrive.

What do you suppose would happen if I decided to be happy *exactly* as I am right at this moment? What if I decided that I could be happy with a stressful job, and student loan debt, and less than six months worth of income in the bank in case of emergency, and a house that is worth less than I paid for it, and grey hair, and "friends" that are too busy to return my calls, and a size 20 ass? What would that be like? How would I feel? What kinds of things would I do? What kinds of things would I not do? How would my life change? Just wondering....

Lunchbag Addiction

For someone who rarely brownbags it, I've got an awful lot of lunch bags. I'm perpetually in search of the perfect bag. Maybe I think the right bag will inspire to me bring my lunch more often. Maybe I think the right bag will make my lunch for me! Whatever the case, this adorable little number at right is lunchbag number six!

I came across it by accident while shopping at Costco a few weeks back. It's from Rachel Ray. She's not necessarily my favorite person on the planet (a little bit of that excessive perkiness goes a loooooong way IMHO), but I have to give her kudos on this. It's big enough to hold everything I need and then some but not so big that I feel like I'm hauling my entire refrigerator with me. Plus, it's attractive. It doesn't scream lunchbag. It just looks like a regular old bag that could be anything. Don't know why that's important to me, but it is.

And while I can't give full credit to the bag itself, I have, actually been bringing my lunch since returning to work in the new year. The break did wonders for me and I'm finally inspired to cook more and I'd like to get back to some healthier eating. So toting my goodies in this cute little bag has been great. Plus, I'm finding that it's actually easier to eat intuitively when I'm doing my own cooking. I think the higher quality of the food makes it easier to feel fuller sooner. And since I'm not serving myself the monster portions I'd get in a restaurant, I'm not having to do battle with the temptation of stopping with a load of food still on my plate. That's a demon I'll still have to confront, but no sense in making things more difficult for myself than I have to right now. One thing at a time.

Yes, I'm a Californian Now

It's official. I've crossed over. There's no going back now. I'm a true Californian. In addition to meditating, my therapist is a big fan of affirmations. If for no other reason, because they make you feel good. And hey, who doesn't want to feel good? I know I do!

Well, she recommended to me that I watch a video by Louise Hay and during the video, they kept showing a card with an affirmation on it and I found myself drawn to the image. As it turned out, you can buy that card. It's from a deck called Power Thought Cards, which contain 64 different affirmation cards on various subjects, and you can buy them just about anywhere.

I've read about and come up with affirmations before. Don't know whether they would have made a difference or not because, for the most part, I often promptly forgot about them and didn't put them to use. I like that I now have something very concrete and appealing to keep them in the forefront of my mind. I don't know whether affirmations will help me or not, but I know they can't hurt so I'm willing to give them a try. But I also find these cards very pretty. The images make me smile and if a $20 purchase makes me happy, then it's worth it for no other reason than that. I've already gotten my money's worth.

Quiet Mind? Hardly!

I am a massive failure at meditation. Though, to be fair, I can’t say that I’ve worked all that hard at mastering it. Once a year, or so, I give it a try, maybe two. But every time I try, my brain literally starts racing out of control and it frustrates me so much that I take it as a sign that mediation just isn’t for me and throw in the towel.

My therapist is a little new age-y, which doesn’t bother me (I do live in California, after all!). So she recommends a version of meditation that she calls quiet mind. It involves envisioning a running stream and every time an unwanted thought invades, you picture putting the thought on a leaf and putting it in the water and watching it rush away downstream. I’m not much of a nature person, but I do love the water, so I like that imagery.

I’ve tried the quiet mind exercise a couple of times now, and so far, the results are pretty much in line with the historical precedent. My mind is anything but quiet. It leaps and races about in complete non-sequiturs that often leave me baffled as to how I got from one thought to another and what the possible connection could be that led me there. And it’s still pretty frustrating, but I’m going to give meditation another try this year, and make it a real fighting chance this time. Given that calm and balance is a big key for me in getting and keeping my eating under control, I’ve got to try every tool in the arsenal to stay on an even keel. Because my brain doesn’t need any encouragement at all to have me stewing over every worst case scenario or real or imagined slight or aggravation until the only thing that makes me feel better is a super-sized value meal, topped off with some cake.

And perhaps as a bit of synchronicity, it just so happens that this month’s issue of Yoga Journal magazine has an article on how to deal with the racing thoughts that are apparently very common among meditators, even the most accomplished among them. If nothing else, it’s comforting to know that this is a really common problem. And hopefully, I’m going to get some good tips that help me achieve “quiet mind.” Because after two weeks of vacation, I’m feeling pretty good right now. And before work gets back to its usual level of chaos, I’d like to get some tools under my belt that help me manage that stress much better than I have in the past. So, quiet mind, get ready, because here I come.

2011 - The Year of Possibilities

Yes, I’m back, friends. Sorry for the long absence. Thanks for sticking with me. A crazy schedule at work, combined with the usual hectic nature of the holidays, resulted in me being completely fried by mid December. By the time vacation finally came around, I found myself needing to completely disconnect, not just from my virtual world, but from the real one, as well. Now, after a couple of weeks of lying low, I’m finally starting to feel myself again and am raring to get blogging.

Work with the therapist has been going well. She has a really positive outlook, which a natural pessimist like me can use. She says I’m so close to really getting the whole intuitive eating thing. I wish I felt close – some days I think I’ll never get there – but it’s good to hear that from her. Actually, I do have glimpses of what it can be like. When my life is calm, I can see it. When I have the time to be rested, to engage in activities I like, to cook, or in other words, to do things that are just good for my soul, my eating is SO much more intuitive. And so, not like this is any sort of revelation or anything, but I’ve got to do whatever I can to make my life more balanced in the new year. Not just so that I can wear smaller pants, but also so that I can improve the overall quality of my life.

So, what of the New Year? Well, I’m not making any resolutions, if that’s what you were thinking. I don’t believe in them. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have a vision of what I want the year to be like. Which is why I’ve declared this the year of possibilities. I want to just open myself to the possibility that:

• I can be an intuitive eater if I keep working on it
• I can get to a place where eating is not so emotionally charged and the answer to whatever is bothering me isn’t stuffing it down with food
• My life can be more balanced
• Movement can be joyful and something that I actually want to do
• Connecting with others can be easier
• I can learn to consistently treat myself well in the ways that really matter

How are all these things going to happen? Well, that’s the part I haven’t quite figured out yet, but I think I’ll get there. For now, I’m just putting it out to the universe and I’ll keep working on it in the meantime. And I think that’s pretty good for January 1^st.